Walk away till you're okay

It's normal for pēpi (baby) to cry and it is the call of our future - tau ai te ira.

A pēpi crying can feel very frustrating.

If you are feeling frustrated, its okay to put pēpi in a safe place (like their pēpipod, cot or wahakura) and leave the room. Take a break.

Take some deep breaths. Do something that usually relaxes you, like making a cup of tea.

Check pēpi, but do not pick them up until you are feeling calm and ready to comfort them.

Call a friend, whānau member or one of the help lines in our support services section. Don't be embarrassed. It's OK to know when you've reached your limit.

And remember, whatever you do, NEVER EVER SHAKE A BABY as this could cause an injury to baby's brain that could leave a lasting disability or even death. Protecting your newborn pēpi protects your whakapapa.

Share these messages with everyone in your household and all of the people who look after your pēpi, so they can support you and pēpi and also help to keep pēpi safe.

You can also see our section on dealing with a crying pēpi for some ideas on how to soothe your pēpi.

Have the name and number of the person you will call when you feel overwhelmed somewhere that is easy to find so that you don't have to spend time looking for it when you need it.

Whakatau wairua, whakatau hinengaro, whakatau tinana, tihei mauri ora

Taking care of your own wellbeing is an important tool in your kete that will help you to cope better when times are tough.

Mana Matua has some great information for dads on how to look after yourself and pēpi.

Whānau Awhina Plunket has some helpful information about looking after yourself as a parent.

Kidshealth has more information on coping with a crying baby.

Here is a karakia you can use: